I gave this talk in the Saturday Evening Session of the September 2012 Provo West Stake Conference. The opinions expressed herein are my own and not necessarily those of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.



I remember as a young boy observing an older gentleman in our ward. He and his wife lived two doors down from my grandmother. As a child I observed that he walked like a prancing horse. I remember asking my mother why Brother Bishop walked the way he did. She explained to me that he had contracted the polio infection as a boy and that was why he walked with some difficulty. She said that many other people who contracted polio had much more challenging disabilities and that he was really blessed.

Polio has existed quietly for thousands of years. It was speculated that the Roman Emperor Claudius whose reign began in 41 A.D. may have had polio based on historical information about his physical ailments. It is also speculated that an Egyptian Pharaoh, Siptah, who lived around 1100 BC may have had polio based on a deformed left leg observed in his mummified remains.

It took until 1840 before Polio was recognized as a distinct medical condition and even still it affected a very small percentage of the population.

That all changed in the late 1880s when major epidemics began to occur in Europe. Soon after widespread epidemics appeared in the United States. By 1910, much of the world experienced a dramatic increase in polio cases and epidemics became regular events. These epidemics left thousands of children and adults paralyzed. Polio was one of the most dreaded childhood diseases of the 20th century.

There is no cure for polio. Short-term treatment focuses on providing relief of symptoms, speeding recovery and preventing complications. Long-term treatment focuses on rehabilitation, including physical therapy, braces, corrective shoes and, in some cases, orthopedic surgery.

Gratefully, the first polio vaccine was developed in 1950. With widespread adoption of the vaccine, polio has been almost completely irraddicated. From 1980 through 1999, there were 162 confirmed cases of polio in the United States. The development and adoption of the polio vaccine has prevented countless children and adults from contracting the disease. I was immunized for polio as have my wife and each of my children.
Now at this point you are probably asking yourself a few questions?

Why is President Holman talking about polio in his conference talk? What is his point? Isn't he a businessman not a medical professional? Bear with me.

For over sixty years now, parents have been able to protect their children from this dreaded disease and almost all of them have done so. In 2011, we had 94% immunization coverage for the polio vaccine in the United States. Physical paralysis has been prevented as a result of the parental choice for their child to receive 3 shots before they are 2 and one booster shot when they go to kindergarten.

97 years ago, parents in the church were given a vaccine that could help prevent spiritual paralysis in their families. This spiritual vaccine was given by President Joseph F. Smith and his counselors in the First Presidency and has been repeated by almost every modern day prophet since that time.

I want to read this letter from the First Presidency dated April 27, 1915:

We advise and urge the inauguration of a 'Home Evening' throughout the church, at which time fathers and mothers may gather their boys and girls about them in the home and teach them the word of the Lord ... 'Home Evening' should be devoted to prayer, singing hymns, songs, instrumental music, scripture-reading, family topics and specific instruction on the principles of the gospel, and on the ethical problems of life, as well as the duties and obligations of children to parents, the home, the Church, society and the nation. For the smaller children appropriate recitations, songs, stories and games may be introduced. Light refreshments of such a nature as may be largely prepared in the home might be served. If the Saints obey this counsel, we promise that great blessings will result. Love at home and obedience to parents will increase. Faith will be developed in the hearts of the youth of Israel, and they will gain power to combat the evil influence and temptations which beset them. (First Presidency letter, 27 April 1915 — Joseph F. Smith, Anthon H. Lund, Charles W. Penrose)

Do you think that the evils that beset us in 2012 are greater than those in 1915? I sure do—this counsel is needed now more than ever. It is a good thing the Lord started early with this counsel with his foreknowledge of the increased wickedness that would be in the world.

So does the charge to hold Family Home Evening only apply to families with children at home? In 1976, the First Presidency under the direction of President Spencer W. Kimball made the following statement:

“Family home evening is for everyone. It is for families with parents and children, for families with just one parent, and for parents who have no children at home. It is for home evening groups of single adults and for those who live alone or with roommates. … “Regular participation in family home evening will develop increased personal worth, family unity, love for our fellowmen, and trust in our Father in heaven. It is our promise that great blessings will come to all who conscientiously plan and hold weekly family home evenings.”

Both my parents and my wife's parents held regular family home evenings in our homes growing up. Julie and I have been faithful in holding regular family home evenings though not without challenges and conflicts. I am surprised by the number of interruptions that we receive during prime time family time on Monday nights. I define Family Home Evening Prime Time as Monday night between 6:00pm and 9:00pm. I have received phone calls from members of the Stake for non-urgent matters. My wife and my children have received phone calls from friends and neighbors. Schools have scheduled Back to School nights, Performances, and Extracurricular activities—and the list goes on.

Based on this and other experiences, I get the sense that Family Home Evening is sometimes taking a back seat to other priorities. In speaking to my teenage children, they have said that many of their friends families don't hold regular family home evening.

Under the direction of President Hinckley, the following letter from the First Presidency Letter was sent out on October 4, 1999:

To: Members of the Church throughout the World Dear Brothers and Sisters: Monday nights are reserved throughout the Church for family home evenings. We encourage members to set aside this time to strengthen family ties and teach the gospel in their homes. Earlier this year we called on parents to devote their best efforts to the teaching and rearing of their children in gospel principles which will keep them close to the Church. We also counseled parents and children to give highest priority to family prayer, family home evening, gospel study and instruction, and wholesome family activities. We urge members, where possible, to avoid holding receptions or other similar activities on Monday evenings. Where practical, members may also want to encourage community and school leaders to avoid scheduling activities on Monday evenings that require children or parents to be away from their homes. Church buildings and facilities should be closed on Monday evenings. No ward or stake activities should be planned, and other interruptions to family home evenings should be avoided. Sincerely yours, Gordon B. Hinckley Thomas S. Monson James E. Faust

How does this letter from the First Presidency apply to us today? Are you in a position to influence community and school leaders who are scheduling activities on Monday nights? Are we giving our highest priority to family home evening?

Ok, at this point you may be telling yourself isn't President Holman being a little over the top. Life is busy and we need to be more flexible with the time and frequency of family home evening. Monday nights is just a suggestion. We have ad hoc gospel conversations and family activities. We don't need to have a formal family home evening.

There is no temple recommend question that asks if we hold regular family home evenings. Similar to the way the Word of Wisdom was given, Family Home Evening was "To be sent greeting; not by commandment or constraint, but by revelation and the word of wisdom" (D&C 89:2). We are lovingly encouraged to follow the counsel with blessings promised for obedience but unlike tithing or other commandments required for a temple recommend, our accountability is only to the Lord.

There is an important doctrine revealed to Joseph Smith concerning the relationship between laws given and blessing received as found D&C 130:20-21
20 There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated— 21 And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.

As I said before, 94% of parents in the United States immunize their children against polio but the church estimates that only 66% of active LDS homes hold regular family home evening to say nothing of homes with less active parents. (Keys to Developing Effective Families, WILLIAM G. DYER AND PHILLIP R. KUNZ, Ensign June 1989). Are we doing all that we can to help inoculate our family from spiritual paralysis? Can we claim the blessings promised to those who following the counsel of the prophets to hold family home evening?

President Monson has said the following about Family Home Evening:
"We cannot afford to neglect this heaven-inspired program. It can bring spiritual growth to each member of the family, helping him or her to withstand the temptations which are everywhere. The lessons learned in the home are those that last the longest."

Nine years ago, President James E. Faust of the 1st Presidency spoke about some of the challenges facing families and said the following:

"When I hear of a family breaking up, I question if family home evening and family prayers have been regularly held in that home. Surely, the most important ingredient in producing happiness at home for members of this Church is a deep religious commitment to God and His gospel. In family home evening, such commitment can be nurtured in children by the wise, mature supervision of parents. Couples can strengthen and sustain each other in living and understanding gospel principles. Single members can gather under the direction of their priesthood leaders in small groups for gospel discussions and appropriate activities. Devotion to God developed in these settings seems to forge the spiritual moorings and stability that can help families and individuals cope with the complexities of life. Some may say this is an oversimplification of a very complex problem, yet I believe the answers lie within the framework of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ."

"I wonder if having unplanned and infrequent family home evenings will be enough to fortify ourselves and our children with sufficient moral strength to meet the complexities of our day. Infrequent family scripture study may be inadequate to arm ourselves and our children with the virtue necessary to withstand the moral decay of the environment in which we live. Where in the world will we learn chastity, integrity, honesty, and basic human decency if not at home? These values will, of course, be reinforced at church, but teaching them in family home evening can be particularly consistent and effective. To combat the world’s evil influences, we need the strength that comes from family home evening."

I would like to call out an important point from President Faust. Even though we have great trust and respect for primary and youth instructors. Our children should not be hearing the doctrines of the church for the first time at church or in seminary. As President Faust said, these meetings should be reinforcing what we have already taught in our home not be the first place our children hear them.

If we don't hold regular family home evening and allow TV and movies into our home that preach the opposite of what we believe we are sending the message to our kids that our values are not important. The Lord and his doctrine need more air time in our home that the world!

Now I don't want to cause any parents who have had wayward children to beat themselves up. We had regular family home evenings growing up. Yet I still have a sister who left the church. Some kids still get sick even after been vaccinated. In the case of polio they found that the vaccination helped reduce the severity of the disease. I still have a strong memory of a family home evening when she was struggling as a wayward teen. We were each ask to bear our testimony. I remember when it came her turn to bear her testimony and she bore a powerful one. I still remember the spirit I felt. That nearly 30 year old memory gives me hope that some day she will return.

I have some counsel for us to renew our commitment to this inspired program that has been given and repeated regularly by prophets for nearly a century.

1st, if you are holding regular family home evenings now keep it up! Perhaps consider inviting other individuals or a family to join you for family home evening. Maybe they just need to see a successful model.

2nd, if you have let your commitment slack then renew it and hold family home evening again next Monday and keep it up after that!

3rd, make sure that teaching of the gospel and not just activities and games are a regular part of your Family Home Evening.

4th, give your children the opportunity to be the teachers. Some of our best lessons in our house have come from our children. I have noticed that my younger kids pay more attention to lessons from my older teens than from me! We have had a tradition of teaching again the missionary discussions as lessons in Family Home Evening before each of our children have been baptized. Our youngest daughter, Kaitlyn was baptized a few months ago and this time around her brothers taught some of the lessons. It was a great experience for these future missionaries.

Just this past Monday, my son Spencer taught a lesson about judging others. He showed a video clip from President Uchdorf's "Stop It! Talk" and a video clip of Susan Boyle-an unemployed frumpy women from England who was openly mocked for her plain appearance before she sang and blew the audience away with her talent. My two youngest daughters are struggling to get along and being tolerant of each other. Spencer's lesson was great for them and the videos made an impact. But Spencer's lesson also hit me hard in how I need to do better in this regard as well. I have very high expectations for my family and this can sometimes be a stumbling block. Particularly the following words he shared from President Uchdorf were an important reminder to me:

"There is enough heartache and sorrow in this life without our adding to it through our own stubbornness, bitterness, and resentment. We are not perfect. The people around us are not perfect. People do things that annoy, disappoint, and anger. In this mortal life it will always be that way. Nevertheless, we must let go of our grievances. Part of the purpose of mortality is to learn how to let go of such things. That is the Lord’s way. Remember, heaven is filled with those who have this in common: They are forgiven. And they forgive. Lay your burden at the Savior’s feet. Let go of judgment. Allow Christ’s Atonement to change and heal your heart. Love one another. Forgive one another. The merciful will obtain mercy."

Each family member is entitled to inspiration from the Holy Ghost in preparing their lessons. I believe Spencer received inspiration from the Holy Ghost based on his assignment to teach the lesson this past week.

And the 5th and final thing, that is advice from my wife and children to me that I will pass along to you is make sure to have fun and don't take yourselves too seriously! Our family probably won't be wining any awards for our musical harmony.

I would like to say amen to the admonition of Joseph F. Smith, David O. McKay, Joseph Fielding Smith, Spencer W. Kimball, Ezra Taft Benson, Howard W. Hunter, Gordon B. Hinckley, and Thomas S. Monson among others to hold family home evening.
I testify that my family has been strengthened and fortified by being obedient to the counsel to hold Family Home Evenings.

I promise you as you do your best to follow this counsel that the Lord will bless you and your family and will diminish the influence of Satan and the world upon your family. I so testify, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.