I gave this talk in the Sunday Morning Session of the May 2015 Provo West Stake Conference. The opinions expressed herein are my own and not necessarily those of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.



As a family we are striving to claim the blessings of the Stake vision and goals. We are definitely striving to increase our peace, strength and happiness by eliminating contention in our home and lives. I wish I could say that we have it figured out. We haven’t quite done it yet but we are still trying.

When we are stressed and unhappy we are much more likely to be contentious with those around us. Two years ago I spoke in conference about 5 things that can get in the way of our happiness. Last year, I spoke about not being overwhelmed with our halting progress at times and how to understand the doctrine of perfection as we strive to make progress. I would like to speak on a related area this morning. We can increase our happiness by making and achieving gospel-centered personal and family goals. The increased confidence and success will help us reduce contention in our lives.

The prophet Joseph Smith said “happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it; and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith [1976], 255–56). So how do we pursue that path of virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God?

In an October 1983 General Conference Address, Elder Marvin J. Ashton said the following: “True happiness is not made in getting something. True happiness is becoming something. This can be done by being committed to lofty goals. We cannot become something without commitment. Commitment as a word cannot stand alone. We must always ask, ‘Committed to what?’ … It behooves us to set goals for ourselves in order to reap the blessings of self-improvement and excellent performance in given assignments.”

I truly want to become something and keep my lofty goals. However, I find it difficult to be consistently committed. So if you are like me, you have set goals in January and by May they are long forgotten with the everyday “stuff” of life. I have been going to exercise regularly on my treadmill to be ready for the Stake Handcart Trek in early June. Unfortunately, I can count on one hand the number of times I have been on the treadmill. I am hoping the medical staff won’t have to drag me along.

A Perspective on Goal Achievement
So should I stop striving to achieve my goals just because I don’t always meet my own expectations? President Spencer W. Kimball, who was an excellent example of goal setting, has a great answer to this question: “I believe in goals, but I believe that the individual should set his own. Goals should always be made to a point that will make us reach and strain. Success should not necessarily be gauged by always reaching the goal set, but by progress and attainment.” (Spencer W. Kimball, Regional Representatives Seminar, April 3, 1975)

This past Christmas at work, we gave a book called the Happiness Advantage to the management staff and our top sales people. It was recommended by a work colleague who had read it. I hadn’t gotten around to reading it in December and it sat on a stack of books in my study.

Another work colleague had some other commitments come up in April at the last minute and I needed to speak in New York, Eastern Canada, Michigan, Ohio, and Salt Lake for an hour training with the primary topic being the book the “Happiness Advantage”. Boy, I wished I had read it in December. I plowed through the “Happiness Advantage” to make sure I could speak credibly on the topic.

Lowering the Activation Energy Required to Achieve Our Goals
The author, Shawn Achor, is a regular guy from Waco, Texas who ended up getting accepted to Harvard and chose to focus his professional work on positive psychology and happiness. Shawn shares an important concept in achieving our goals that he calls the “30 second rule” that I believe applies just as well to our gospel goal setting.

Shawn wanted to learn to play the guitar. He knew the basics but wasn’t proficient. As they say, “practice makes perfect” so Shawn created a “Guitar Practice” 21-day Chart. Shawn figured if he was able to consistently practice the guitar for 21-days that his skill would improve. Guess how many days he practiced and checked off on the chart? He practiced for the first four days and then stopped.

When he got home from work, tired from the days activities, it took 30 seconds for him to open the closet in his living room, unzip the guitar case, and sit down to play the guitar. It turned out that even 30 measly seconds was too long for him to consistently practice the guitar. Shawn speaks of “activation energy” when it comes to goals and the “activation energy” of 30 seconds required to play the guitar was too high and he needed to figure out a way to lower it.

Shawn made another attempt at his guitar practice. This time he bought a guitar stand and put the guitar in his living room. He didn’t have to go to the closet and he didn’t have to take it out of the case. He just had to walk over and pick it up. It only took him 8 seconds from when he walked in the door rather than prior 30 seconds to pick up the guitar. Guess how many times Shawn practiced the second time around? All 21 days and his guitar skill improved. Shawn lowered the activation energy required from 30 seconds to 8 second and achieved his goal.

Increasing the Activation Energy for Bad Habits
Now there is more to Shawn’s story on how he improved his guitar playing skill. He had some negative things in his environment that were getting in the way of his progress. Shawn said: “Happiness is not about being blind to the negatives in our environment; it’s about believing we have the power to do something about them.” Let’s see what he did about one of the negatives in his environment:

Even with the guitar stand, Shawn had one other problem when he walked in the door and sat down. It took less than 8 seconds for him to pick up the TV remote and turn on the TV. If he wasn’t careful, after a long day at work, he could waste hours watching TV and never pick up the guitar. Shawn needed to increase the “activation energy” required to watch TV so it didn’t interfere with his goal.

Shawn took the batteries out of the remote and stuck them in a drawer further away than the guitar stand. If he really had something he wanted to watch on TV rather than pick up the guitar, he could walk over to the drawer, get out the batteries, bring them back to the couch, put them in the remote, and turn on the TV.

This simple 30 second rule of lowering the activation energy required to achieve our goals and increase the activation energy for our bad habits has given me a new perspective on consistently working towards my life goals. Rather than being frustrated with myself with failures and setbacks and beating myself up that I don’t have the will power, I now ask myself what can I do to lower the activation energy required to consistently achieve a goal?

The Challenge
Let us remember the promise and challenge of the Lord as found in the Doctrine and Covenants: “Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness; For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their reward.” (D&C 58:27–29)

In my MBA program at BYU, one activity we went through with goal setting was known as a “Start, Stop, Continue” exercise. I also believe this applies to our gospel goal setting. It keeps a balance in three areas rather than focus on just what we need to do or on what we are doing wrong.

I would like to pose these three questions to you. Take the time now to think about these and write them down now or later today when you get home:

What are one or two things in your life that you want to start doing to achieve your gospel potential?

What are one or two things in your life that you want to stop doing to help achieve your gospel potential?

What are one or two things that you are doing right that you want to continue doing?

When you have identified your simple 3 to 6 item Start, Stop, and Continue list, I then want you to identify for the Start and Stop items how you can apply the “30 second rule”. How can you lower the activation energy required to achieve your Start items? How can you increase the activation energy required to eliminate your Stop items? Write down these “activation energy” steps right next to your goals.

Setting a Plan in Motion
Let me give you a simple example from my life on how I increased the activation energy for something I wanted to change: I have a program on my laptop computer called an RSS Newsreader. It sucks in articles from all of my favorite news sources on the Internet and allows me to stay informed. The problem is that the newsreader was on my computer application dock right next to my email program. I found it really easy to click on that icon and end up reading great news articles rather than getting my work done. It took about a second for me to click on the application icon. Reading news articles isn’t bad per se but it was distracting me from other important goals.

I removed the application from the computer dock and put it a few folders deep in my application folder. It now takes me 5 second to launch my newsreader. I find I am able to stay more focused and when I want to read news articles it is a deliberate choice. My gospel Start, Stop, Continue list is private and personal but hopefully you get the idea from this example.

In his book, Mr. Achor gives a definition of happiness. He said “Happiness is the joy we feel striving after our potential.” That rings true to me and aligns very much with Joseph Smith’s definition I shared earlier. When I am making progress towards my goals and feeling productive, I am happier. Shawn also said: “The more you believe in your own ability to succeed, the more likely it is that you will.” As we have success in achieving our goals, it will give us the confidence to tackle other important goals in our lives.

We have to make sure that Jesus Christ is our partner in our goal setting and execution. I find great comfort in the words of the Apostle Paul to the Philippian Saints: “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” (Philippians 4:13)

Why Set Goals?
In a 1985 Priesthood Session of Conference, President Kimball warned of the outcome of us not setting and striving for gospel-oriented goals. He said: “It is most appropriate for Aaronic Priesthood youth, as well as Melchizedek Priesthood men, to quietly, and with determination, set some serious personal goals in which they will seek to improve by selecting certain things that they will accomplish within a specified period of time. Even if the priesthood holders of our Heavenly Father are headed in the right direction, if they are men without momentum they will have too little influence. You are the leaven on which the world depends; you must use your powers to stop a drifting and aimless world.” (Spencer W. Kimball, “Set Some Personal Goals”, April 1985 General Conference). I believe this counsel applies equally as well to the women and girls here today. Without goal setting, we will lack spiritual momentum and have too little influence in building the kingdom of God on the earth.

Brothers and sisters, let us remember the words of Elder Ashton: “True happiness is not made in getting something. True happiness is becoming something.” I known as we prayerfully focus on achieving important gospel goals and have the Savior Jesus Christ as our partner that we can become what the Lord wants us to become. As our gospel confidence and progress improves, we will be happier and less likely to be contentious. More importantly, however, we will open ourselves up to greater blessings from our Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.

In Psalm 24, David describes some of the blessings available to us: “Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord? or who shall stand in his holy place? He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully. He shall receive the blessing from the Lord, and righteousness from the God of his salvation.” (Psalm 24:3-5) I testify that the Lord will prepare a way for making these things possible in our lives. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.